I’ve spent all of my adult life covering tech news. I’ve seen hackers destroying the reputation of a consumer brand’s online network in protest of having their hardware locked down. I’ve seen a company actually tout a honeycomb styled grid as an innovation in smartphone OS design. Heck I’ve seen that very same company insist that bringing podcasts to international users presents legal issues. In short I’ve, seen a lot that made me question if some executives of our favorite companies have IQ levels above room temperature. I thought I’d seen it all. Then I saw the circumstances in which Nokia actually thinks some users will get the Lumia 800 here in the United States.

Starting today you can pick up Nokia’s current flagship with the Nokia Purity HD Stereo Headset by Monster, the Nokia Luna Bluetooth Headset, and the Nokia Play 360 speaker, all for the very low price of… $899. The Nokia Lumia 800 Entertainment Bundle (great name by the way there guys), will be exclusively available at Microsoft Stores nationwide. All 14 of them. Have you stopped laughing, because it gets even funnier. The handset will only work on AT&T and T-Mobile, however using it with the latter will restrict you to 2G speeds.

You can stop laughing now. This isn’t remotely humorous. In fact this situation is so not humorous that it makes the situations that Twilight characters get involved in seem almost Shakespearean in it’s use of sparkles as a plot device.

I completely understand that Nokia has another flagship device right around the corner and I can forgive them for not wanting to bother with pushing this device through normal channels with the Lumia 900 just around the corner. I understand that making this exclusive to Microsoft’s retail locations insures that enthusiasts can get their hands on it, but limits it’s exposure to those who might otherwise pick up it’s replacement. It’s perfectly logical that you’d want to offer your die hard fans the best that you have to offer with an experience in a box. Those are perfectly logical arguments. Now here’s another: all of the this would have been true if you sold the Lumia 800 unlocked, without accessories, at a price mere design conscience, hardworking, mortals can afford.

I’m supposed to use Quick Words as a platform to ask questions and solicit questions from you so i’ll be frank. You have to either be flush with cash, a huge fan of Nokia design, or certifiably insane to pick this thing up. If you’re picking up one of these bundles, which one are you?

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