Remember when motion pictures based off film franchises were good? I’m sure that you don’t; they’ve always been terrible. Mortal Kombat was hot trash. The Tomb Raider movies were uninteresting and wooden. Some thought that Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed movie might meet the same fate. They might have been right.

Reviews of Assassin’s Creed began popping up today from the usual suspects and they’re not kind.

New York Daily News didn’t have kind things to say about anything except the film’s visuals. “Assassin’s Creed works best during the action scenes set in the distant past. But the present — along with Cal and that massive appendage and too many windy conversations — keeps elbowing its way back in.” To be fair, people who love the game have been saying the same thing about present day happenings in the franchise since Black Flag. The film stars Marion Cotillard and Michael Fassbender.

GameSpot says that the movie is, “a fun action flick” before remarking that it’s a bit disappointing as a whole.

Time goes the distance with this well-reasoned viewpoint: “The 15th century wasn’t a great time to be alive, and it’s not even such nice a place to visit. We went all the way back in time with Assassin’s Creed and all we got was this lousy apple. It’s not even a real one.” That’s a reference to the Apple of Eden for you casual Assassin’s Creed fans.

I can tell you that I’m still looking forward to this movie, regardless of the reviews. Some of them are more shots at the story the movie is based on the game itself, which I can understand, though I’m struggling to reckon with how anyone going to review this film thought they were getting something akin to Shakespeare in Love or something. (I’m looking at you A.V. Club.)

I’ll have a look at Assassin’s Creed this weekend with Saturday Night at the Movies. I can’t imagine this movie is worse than the worst parts of Suicide Squad, but we’ll find out soon enough.


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